Have you come across people who appear at peace with themselves? Very few situations can actually get them frazzled. This quiet self-assurance is the sign of a naturally confident person. On the other hand, there are people who try to appear confident by being loud and aggressive but in reality, they are trying to mask their insecurities by putting on a show of strength.
Truly confident people don’t have to try hard to appear in control of a situation – they just are better geared to handle any situation. Confident people tend to have a big impact on everyone they encounter. However, this is achieved more out of the strong influence they have on their own thoughts and actions. They tend to inspire others by setting an example themselves.
So where does this confidence come from? This comes from an innate belief in themselves to be able to handle whatever is thrown at them. This confidence comes from experience and a sense of self-efficacy. This is also a result of actively following some habits consistently over time. The top 10 habits that most naturally confident people possess are as follows:
1. They see challenges as opportunities to learn
Challenges are a part of life. Our attitude towards these challenges determines how we manage them. If we see challenges as an opportunity to learn something new or test our limits, we will go in with the right attitude. On the other hand, if we see challenges as a roadblock, we will not even put the effort required and hence will not be able to manage it successfully. Confident people see challenges as an opportunity to learn and grow and it only adds to their sense of achievement when they overcome it.
2. They are willing to take risks
We grow when we step out of our comfort zone and try something new. Confident people willing take risks and step out of their comfort zone because they have the self-belief that they can handle it. Fear doesn’t hold them back because they know that if they never try, they will never succeed. On the other hand, people who are afraid to take chances tend to stagnate and go deeper into their shell.
3. They actively listen to others
Confident people are better communicators. They know that to really have a good connection, they need to listen. They don’t feel the need to prove themselves. Hence, they have the ability to listen and learn more and respond better.
4. They don’t judge others and themselves harshly
Confident people don’t feel the need to put other people down to feel good about themselves. They are not insecure about themselves and hence can be more balanced in their views about others. They don’t compare themselves to others. They have their own inner benchmarks for themselves. Given their more realistic assessment of themselves, they are also not overly harsh on themselves.
5. They are intrinsically motivated
Most confident people are intrinsically motivated which means that what drives them to do something is their own desire and not an external reward or punishment. This intrinsic motivation enables them to chart their own path and keep going at it.
6. They are doers
Confident people tend to be more action oriented. They have the ability to get things done. They know that if they want some outcome, they have to work for it. They don’t waste time complaining about things that bother them. They actually see what they can do about the situation and go ahead and do it.
7. They are assertive in their communication
Confident people has a heightened sense of self-awareness and know exactly how they feel about different situations. Hence they are able to communicate how they feel about something, assertively and respectfully. This trait actually leads to more respect from others around them for being able to speak their mind.
8. They don’t bother too much about what others think about them
People who always worry about what others will think tend to be unsure about themselves and hence are not confident. Conversely, confident people don’t worry about what others think and they are capable of stating how they themselves feel about any situation. Hence they have a better self-image and self-worth.
9. They are positive
Confident people have a positive attitude in life. Instead of finding faults and complaining and worrying about what can go wrong, they look at the positive side of any situation. Even challenging situations are approached by confident people in a very positive way. They generally feel that things will work out for the better over time.
10. They feel in control of their lives
Confident people have a high internal locus of control. They attribute their success and failures to their own actions and hence believe that they are capable of changing situations. This sense of control gives them a lot of confidence and contentment.
So the next question is, can someone learn to be more confident? Most definitely yes. As long as you are motivated to work on building your confidence, there is no reason why you cannot do so. It will require understanding yourself first and then learning some of these habits and religiously following them over a period of time to start seeing your world change for the better. This is where a coach can help you ensure that you stay on track and get to your goal.